Milo and John

Dramatic Close-Up for No Reason
April 17th, 2008, 11:00 pm

Average Rating  None
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Author's Comments:

Posted by JiminycricketX
April 17th, 2008, 11:19 pm

Hokay, time to rant. Some of my fans last week claimed that Twilight Princess could not be made better.


There were many, many ways it could have been made better. First and foremost: The game was easy as crap. I mean, recent Zelda games aren't even that hard, but even they make Twilight Princess look like 'kiddy little prancing with ponies in a completely family-friendly environment the GAME'. Second, the music was probably the least memorable in the series. With the exception of a few great tunes, and the few little rare orchestrated bits, the music sucked. Particularly the crap in the Twilight Realm. Third, the Wolf-exclusive sections were boring as hell, and just made you long even more for the freedom of a pair of human feet. Don't even get me started on the Wii version of the game. Flicking around the Wii-mote 20 or so times just to get Link to do a simple 4-hit combo isn't what I'd call 'Innovative', I'd call it lazy, unresponsive, and generally poorly implemented. Sorry, but a nice aiming scheme is not enough to make up for the fact that the Wii version is otherwise just a sloppy port. This isn't even to mention the fact that the excellent and elegantly executed parry move from Wind Waker was absent, replaced by the superfluous, and, considering the gimpyness of all the games enemies, utterly worthless combo system.

This isn't to say I thought Twilight Princess is bad. I thought it had a lot of good points. The massive world, tons of hidden items and locations, mingames galore, Beautiful graphics (we'll ignore the dives in framerate and frequently crappy terrain texturing), an interesting and well rounded cast of characters (though it would have been nice to see more cameos from past games, hell I would've even taken Tingle) great artistic design, and just because the bosses and enemies hardly put up a fight, that doesn't mean it isn't any fun beating the living crap out of them. And the Horse riding segments are a blast as well, horseback swordplay was a great addition. Anyway, it's a great game, and next to most other games out there, it holds it's head high. However, it is overshadowed by many better, more memorable Zelda games. Let's face it, it's a big name to live up to.

I'm so totally losing a few readers for that rant.

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Reader's Comments:

Posted by tRickityHouses
April 18th, 2008, 12:04 pm

oooooo teleporters. I like those middle panels. nice simple lighting and smooth lines

Posted by Zayl-san
April 18th, 2008, 2:41 pm

Naw naw rant is fine :>

I think the best zelda game would be...
A Link to the Past, remade, with TP graphics.

Would be effing leet.

Shin Kerron
Posted by Shin Kerron
April 19th, 2008, 9:48 am

...Alright Milo, let's see who can outrant who shall we?

First off, you complain about the non-responsive Wii-mote useage in that game. Well, you might have done this, but I'm going to assume you didn't, because I have and have not had a problem thus far. You have to ADJUST the sensor bar under the Wii settings for the distance you play at, as well as the width of the screen. Otherwise you'll wind up having your wii-mote do all sorts of crazy stuff. I found that out trying to navigate the home menu when I was sitting in a chair a good five or so feet to one side of my normal playing area. Know that little deal where you show your bow to the kids and they challenge you to hit the wooden pole WAAAAAAYYY up high to the point that you can't even really see it without using the Hawkeye? I hit the thing on the first try. My only complaint is that it's hard to shift between standing and moving with the sword swings.

Second, about the wolf sections. Not having access to a real sword and items was annoying yes, but I liked it, made it easy to move around quickly without Epona, plus ever stop to think that some of us like being able to latch onto our enemy's throats and claw away at them? Plus, you'd be ammazed at how convenient a quick search with your senses to find shiny spots in the ground is when you're low on hearts.

As for the lack of parry skills from Wind Waker, what do you think the backslice and helmsplitter are? Hmm? LOOKS AWEFULLY FAMILIAR TO ME! Plus they have the advantage that you don't have to time it right when you're about to have an attack that could take a good heart and a half away, possibly more, thrown at you. Plus the shockwave thing you can do with the second to last secret skill is just plain awesome. Especially when you're dealing with a room full of those damn ice sculpture people. **** the ball and chain, they kept stabbing me when I tried to use that, I'll just cleave them to peices!

Difficulty? Didn't notice much difference. I think it had the same amount of difficulty as Ocarina of Time, and that final battle was freakin' easy. You didn't even NEED light arrows. You just could whap him in the head with a hookshot and he'd flinch long enough to get behind him and cut up his tail.

Trust me, I freakin' love LoZ. My first real game was Ocarina of time. Twilight Princess has not dissapointed. It's a big step up if anything. Deny it, and I'll just have to show you my shiny master sword recreation.

Forgive me for cutting this rant short, but I am in need of breakfast-foodage. Do not worry, I do not intend to stop reading.

Also, if you're up for the challenge, I'll brawl you anytime.

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