Milo and John

I'm not Evil, I just don't Like You
March 10th, 2006, 2:28 pm

Average Rating  4.00
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Author's Comments:

Posted by JiminycricketX
March 23rd, 2006, 10:25 am

After wasting many hours playing every ending in that horrid, HORRID sequel to sonic Heroes known as 'Shadow the Hedgehog,' I was forced to create this comic. At the time I got the game, I was under the opinion that Shadow was the best character in the Sonic series, and Sonic Team could do no wrong with him. Silly me. Bringing him back to life after he died at the end of SA2B was their first mistake. Giving him a Bourne complex was their second. Making those stupid black alien things attack earth was their third, and hiring whoever they did to script the game was thier fourth. I think I said before that I hoped Shadow would be better than Sonic Heroes... Well it was 100% worse. If they had spent less time naming all 300 or so different combinations of levels and more time on the actual gameplay and plot, they might have pulled off a decent game. The gun thing was stupid and it seriously bogged down gameplay, removing all the good old-fashioned speed the game was famous for because you had to stop every five seconds to shoot something. Your helpers in every level got to be more annoying than Navi the Fairy from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Did I mention that the plot sucked? It was basically an overly cliche'd rip-off of every alien invasion movie you could possibly think of, especially 'Independance day' if you play the levels in the right order. (Sure, it is a little satisfying to watch the aliens blow away the white house and most of Central City... but even so.) The endings also sucked royally. You'd think they'd at least grace us with a few high quality cut scenes, maybe even with a little variety. But instead we get these slip-shod in-game graphics scenes that are all exactly the same except for maybe the things Shadow says in them. (Oh, and if you get an extremely evil ending, you get to watch Shadow's corny maniacal laughter. Whoopdee doo!) Then you get to watch the credits scroll by and can listen to either MXPX wannabe head-banger rock, or some no-name goth-rock band singing songs that somewhat relate to the context of the story. Oh, it gets better. After every ending you unlock a new 'special' weapon. Not like there is anything special about the katana you can use 4-8 times before it breaks, or a big frickin bazooka that heals your enemies. The gun that shoots Omachao heads is a bit funny, but only if you loathe Omachao.

Well, I think you get the picture. So next time you're out looking for a game and think, 'Hey, Shadow the Hedgehog!' Spring for 'Sonic Riders' or one of the 'Sonic Mega collections' instead.

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Reader's Comments:

Posted by Manuel176
May 31st, 2006, 8:13 pm

too aad got the game ITS TOO LATE FOR ME AHH IM GANA SELL IT

Shin Kerron
Posted by Shin Kerron
September 4th, 2006, 11:31 am

...Truely the mighty have fallen... so many plot holes in that game... so many plot holes... Oh no, the halusinations are happening again! Quick! Someone find my copy of FFVII! I need good storylines to counteract the effects of this break from reality!... ok, so technically I'm still gonna be breaking away from reality, but at least this way will be from my choice and not induced by plotholes and bad graphics...

The only reason I keep that game around is because of the music... thank you crush 40.

Posted by Krimsin
January 23rd, 2007, 1:09 am

I don't believe my perception of reality holds any purchase here....

*backs away slowly*

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